It’s not easy to deal with anxiety, whether you’ve found your person or are still out searching. But what does it really mean to be anxious when you’re in a serious relationship?
You might think that everything will be smooth sailing once you find your life partner, but unfortunately, that’s not true. It won’t always be easy to navigate your messiest emotions, but you need to remember, the right person isn’t going to blame you when your anxious thoughts get the best of you. They aren’t going to treat your anxiety like a red flag or an inconvenience. It’s simply another part of you.
Being anxious in relationships means having trouble trusting that your partner is going to stick around and stay faithful–even though they’ve never given you any rational reason to doubt their intentions. They could do absolutely everything right, but your anxiety will still strike at the most inopportune times. You will still have days when you wonder whether you are enough, whether this love is long-lasting or another disappointment in disguise. The right person will make you feel much more at ease, yes, but they won’t erase your anxiety completely. It’s just not possible.
Being anxious in relationships means you occasionally cause drama by accident. You don’t mean to pick fights. You don’t mean to make something out of nothing. But your overthinking mind makes it tricky to let it go when you sense the slightest shift in your person’s voice or behavior. You cannot stand mixed signals because you cannot cope with not having answers. You need open communication. Constant reassurance. And you deserve a partner who provides that for you without growing upset with you over it. They shouldn’t accuse you of being too needy, of asking for too much. They should understand you need words of affirmation to feel safe, to feel loved.
Being anxious in relationships means struggling to be spontaneous on date night. Although it might not sound the most romantic, you need a plan set out in front of you. You need to know when you’re going to see your person next, what you should wear, and how long you’re going to be out of the house. You are a researcher at heart. The more information at your disposal, the better. You don’t do well when it comes to unlabeled relationships or unanswered questions because you always want to know where you stand.
Being anxious in relationships means you are faced with constant struggles, on your own and as a team, but that’s okay. As much trouble as your anxiety gives you, there’s nothing wrong with feeling intensely. There’s nothing wrong with being a sensitive soul. You deserve to be with someone who appreciates how open you are about your feelings, how vulnerable you’re willing to get with them, how much you’re capable of caring.
What does it mean to be anxious in a serious relationship? It means, like any other relationship out there, you’re going to have your fair share of challenges. You’re going to have your ups and downs. But when you’re with the right person, you’ll grow through it together. Your anxiety might be frustrating, but it won’t stop you from living out your fairy tale ending.
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