Dating isn’t easy, especially when you’re dealing with anxiety. Whether you’re going on a first date with someone new or have been with your person for years, there are little ways that anxiety can make dating more difficult. Here are some common reasons why dating is so exhausting for anxious people:
We are putting in constant, never-ending effort.
The little things that come easily to others are more challenging for us. Something as ‘simple’ as sending a text back can exhaust us. Our social battery runs low quickly. In order to be there for our partners, we have to constantly push ourselves. Sometimes, others don’t understand how hard we’re trying, because we’re putting in even more effort than they can easily see.
As anxious people, we have ridiculously high standards.
We don’t go easy on ourselves. Even when we should rest, even when we deserve rest, we don’t always take it because we want to go above and beyond. We want to get as much possible done in a single day, so we are constantly packing our schedules and expecting more from ourselves than we can realistically handle.
We aren’t always in the mood to go out and meet new people.
When we’re looking for love, it’s tricky since we don’t want to go through the hassle of meeting someone new and making small talk, hoping that it will develop into something more. And when we’re already in a committed relationship, we don’t always want to go out with our partner’s social circle and put on a happy face. We force ourselves out of our comfort zone whenever we can, but it can get tiring fast.
As anxious people, we care deeply about others.
We want to make everyone around us feel safe and comfortable because we know what it’s like to feel unseen and unappreciated, and we never want anyone else to feel that way. We want to spread as much kindness as possible, even when it’s inconvenient for us.
Also, we care deeply about how we’re perceived.
Even if we know, logically, that it doesn’t matter what other people think, it’s hard to stop ourselves from wondering whether we’re liked, whether we’re being annoying, whether we’re too much. We never want to be a bother. We never want to make someone’s day harder than it already is. But putting pressure on ourselves to keep everyone happy is beyond stressful. After all, it’s impossible to please everyone.
We feel our emotions intensely.
We are sensitive, so every rejection feels crushing. Bouncing back from heartbreak isn’t easy for anyone, but for us, it’s especially challenging. Getting turned down by one person feels like the end of the world. Like we’re unlovable and will never find our person. It’s exhausting to go through such extreme emotions, even if our anxiety is lying to us and everything is going to be okay in the end.
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